USDESI bloggers connecting desis

Smiley in the Sky

2007-08-26T18:27:00.001-05:00

Happy Independence Day

2007-08-14T18:34:00.001-05:00

Cool Meanings

2007-02-04T22:58:00.000-06:00

Cigarette:

A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at

the other.

Love affairs:

Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular

than a five-day test.

Marriage:

It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman

gains her master

Divorce:

Future tense of marriage

Lecture:

An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to

the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.

Conference:

The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise:

The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he

got the biggest piece.

Tears:

The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by

feminine waterpower.. .

Dictionary:

A place where divorce comes before marriage.

Conference Room:

A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees

later on.

Ecstasy:

A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never

felt before.

Classic:

A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile:

A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office:

A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn:

The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc:

A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee:

Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that

nothing can be done together.

Experience:

The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb:

An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher:

A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat:

A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually

look forward to the trip.

Opportunist:

A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist:

A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway See I am

not injured yet.

Pessimist:

A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the

first letter in word OPPORTUNITY

Miser:

A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father:

A banker provided by nature.

Criminal:

A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

Boss:

Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician:

One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor:

A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Positive Sides

2007-02-04T22:56:00.000-06:00

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry

For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it

For poise, walk with the knowledge that and you should never walk alone

86 Rules of Boozing

2007-01-20T14:01:00.000-06:00

1. If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during happy hour.

2. Always toast before doing a shot.

3. Whoever buys the shot gets the first chance to offer a toast.

4. Change your toast at least once a month.

5. Buying someone a drink is five times better than a handshake.

6. Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb.

7. Never borrow more than one cigarette from the same person in one night.

8. When the bartender is slammed, resist the powerful urge to order a slightly-dirty, very-dry, in-and-out, super-chilled half-and-half martini with a lemon twist. Limit orders to beer, straight shots and two-part cocktails.

9. Get the bartender's attention with eye contact and a smile.

10. Do not make eye contact with the bartender if you do not want a drink.

11. Unacceptable things to say after doing a shot: Great, now I’m going to get drunk. I hate shots. It’s coming back up.

12. Never, ever tell a bartender he made your drink too strong.

13. If he makes it too weak, order a double next time. He'll get the message.

14. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she refuses, she does not like you.

15. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she accepts, she still might not like you.

16. If she buys you a drink, she likes you.

17. If someone offers to buy you a drink, do not upgrade your liquor preference.

18. Always have a corkscrew in your house.

19. If you don't have a corkscrew, push the cork down into the bottle with a pen.

20. Drink one girly drink in public and you will forever be known as the guy who drinks girly drinks.

21. Our parents were better drinkers than we are.

22. Never talk to someone in the restroom unless you're doing the same thing—urinating, waiting in line or washing your hands.

23. Girls hang out, apply make-up, and have long talks in the bathroom. Men do not.

24. After your sixth drink, do not look at yourself in the mirror. It will shake your confidence.

25. It is only permissible to shout 'woo-hoo!' if you are doing a shot with four or more people.

26. If there is a d.j., you can request a song only once per night. If he doesn't play it within half an hour, do not approach him again. If he does play it, do not approach him again.

27. Learn how to make a rose out of a bar napkin. You'll be surprised how well it works.

28. If you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to drink in a bar. Go to the liquor store.

29. If you owe someone twenty dollars or less, you may pay them back in beer.

30. Never complain about the quality or brand of a free drink.

31. If you have been roommates with someone more than six months, you may drink all their beer, even if it's hidden, as long as you leave them one.

32. You can have a shot of their hard liquor only if the cap has been cracked and the bottle goes for less than $25.

33. The only thing that tastes better than free liquor is stolen liquor.

34. If you bring Old Milwaukee to a party, you must drink at least two cans before you start drinking the imported beer in the fridge.

35. Learn to appreciate hangovers. If it was all good times every jackass would be doing it.

36. If you ever feel depressed, get out a bartender’s guide and browse through all the drinks you’ve never tried.

37. Try one new drink each week.

38. If you are the bar's sole customer, you are obliged to make small talk with the bartender until he stops acknowledging you. Then you're off the hook. The same goes for him.

39. Never tip with coins that have touched you. If your change is $1.50, you can tell the barmaid to keep the change, but once she has handed it to you, you cannot give it back. To a bartender or cocktail waitress, small change has no value.

40. If you have ever told a bartender, “Hey, it all spends the same,” then you are a cheap ass.

41. Anyone on stage or behind a bar is fifty percent better looking.

42. You can tell how hard a drinker someone is by how close they keep their drink to their mouth.

43. A bar is a college, not a nursery. If you spill a beer, clean it up. If you break a glass, wait for a staff member to clean it up, then blame it on someone else.

44. Being drunk is feeling sophisticated without being able to say it.

45. It's okay to drink alone.

46. After three drinks, you will forget a woman's name two seconds after she tells you. The rest of the night you will call her “baby” or “darling”.

47. Nothing screams 'nancy boy' louder than swirling an oversized brandy snifter.

48. Men don't drink from straws. Unless you're doing a Mind or Face Eraser.

49. If you do a shot, finish it. If you don't plan to finish it, don't accept it.

50. Never brood in a dance bar. Never dance in a dive bar.

51. Never play more than three songs by the same artist in a row.

52. Your songs will come on as you're leaving the bar.

53. Never yell out jukebox selections to someone you don't know.

54. Never lie in a bar. You may, however, grossly exaggerate and lean.

55. If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English.

56. Screaming, “Someone buy me a drink!” has never worked.

57. For every drink, there is a five percent better chance you will get in a fight. There is also a three percent better chance you will lose the fight.

58. Fighting an extremely drunk person when you are sober is hilarious.

59. If you are broke and a friend is “sporting you”, you must laugh at all his jokes and play wingman when he makes his move.

60. If you are broke and a friend is “making sport of you”, you may steal any drink he leaves unattended.

61. Never rest your head on a table or bar top. It is the equivalent of voluntarily putting your head on a chopping block.

62. If you are trading rounds with a friend and he asks if you're ready for another, always say yes. Once you fall out of sync you will end up buying more drinks than him.

63. If you're going to hit on a member of the bar staff, make sure you tip well before and after, regardless of her response.

64. The people with the most money are rarely the best tippers.

65. Before you die, single-handedly make one decent martini.

66. Asking a bartender what beers are on tap when the handles are right in front of you is the equivalent of saying, “I'm an idiot.”

67. Never ask a bartender “what's good tonight?” They do not fly in the scotch fresh from the coast every morning.

68. If there is a line for drinks, get your goddamn drink and step the hell away from the bar.

69. If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beer is yours.

70. The patrons at your local bar are your extended family, your fathers and mothers, your brothers and sisters. Except you get to sleep with these sisters. And if you're really drunk, the mothers.

71. It's acceptable, traditional in fact, to disappear during a night of hard drinking. You will appear mysterious and your friends will understand. If they even notice.

72. Never argue your tab at the end of the night. Remember, you're hammered and they’re sober. It's akin to a precocious five-year-old arguing the super-string theory with a physicist. 99.9% of the time you're wrong and either way you're going to come off as a jackass.

73. If you bring booze to a party, you must drink it or leave it.

74. If you hesitate more than three seconds after the bartender looks at you, you do not deserve a drink.

75. Beer makes you mellow, champagne makes you silly, wine makes you dramatic, tequila makes you felonious.

76. The greatest thing a drunkard can do is buy a round of drinks for a packed bar.

77. Never preface a conversation with a bartender with “I know this is going to be a hassle, but . . .”

78. When you’re in a bar and drunk, your boss is just another guy begging for a fat lip. Unless he’s buying.

79. If you are 86’d, do not return for at least three months. To come back sooner makes it appear no other bar wants you.

80. Anyone with three or more drinks in his hands has the right of way.

81. If you’re going to drink on the job, drink vodka. It’s the no-tell liquor.

82. There’s nothing wrong with drinking before noon. Especially if you’re supposed to be at work.

83. The bar clock moves twice as fast from midnight to last call.

84. A flask engraved with a personal message is one of the best gifts you can ever give. And make sure there’s something in it.

85. On the intimacy scale, sharing a quiet drink is between a handshake and a kiss.

86. You will forget every one of these rules by your fifth drink.

--Frank Rich

Source: Modern Drunkard Magazine

Belief in God - Real Good One

2007-01-20T13:31:00.000-06:00

An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problemscience has with God, The Almighty.
He asks one of his new students to stand and.....

Prof: So you believe in God?

Student: Absolutely, sir.

Prof: Is God good?

Student: Sure.

Prof: Is God all-powerful?

Student : Yes.

Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm?

(Student is silent.)

Prof: You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?

Student :Yes.

Prof: Is Satan good?

Student : No.

Prof: Where does Satan come from?

Student : From...God...

Prof: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student : Yes.

Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?

Student : Yes.

Prof: So who created evil?

(Student does not answer.)

Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?

Student :Yes, sir.

Prof: So, who created them?

(Student has no answer.)

Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God?

Student : No, sir.

Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God?

Student : No , sir.

Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelled your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Prof: Yet you still believe in Him?

Student : Yes.

Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.

Prof: Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Prof: Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as cold?

Prof: Yes.

Student : No sir. There isn't.

(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)

Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?

Student : You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light.... But if youhave no light constantly, you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?

Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?

Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going.)

Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavour, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class is in uproar.)

Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?

(The class breaks out into laughter.)

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelled it?.....No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Prof: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.

Student : That is it, sir.. The link between man & god is FAITH. That is all that keeps things moving & alive.

That young man was ALBERT EINSTEIN

Nature is sexy

2007-01-12T21:31:00.000-06:00

Collected from haha

Nelly Furtado - Say it Right

2007-01-11T17:29:00.000-06:00

Macworld Conference & Expo 2007

2007-01-09T21:43:00.000-06:00

Watch Apple CEO Steve Jobs kick-off Macworld Conference & Expo 2007 with a keynote address from San Francisco's Moscone West
click here or here

Source: Apple

New Workplace Words for 2007

2007-01-07T15:36:00.000-06:00

Essential vocabulary additions for the workplace (and
elsewhere)!! !

1. BLAMESTORMING : Sitting around in a group,
discussing why a deadline was missed or a project
failed, and who was responsible.

2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a
lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

3. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to
absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the
boss rather than working hard

4. SALMON DAY : The experience of spending an entire
day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in
the end.

5. CUBE FARM : An office filled with cubicles.

6. PRAIRIE DOGGING : When someone yells or drops
something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads
pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

7. MOUSE POTATO : The on-line, wired generation's
answer to the couch potato.

8. SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive
Mortgage. What Yuppies get into when they have
children and one of them stops working to stay home
with the kids.

9. STRESS PUPPY : A person who seems to thrive on
being stressed out and whiny.

10. SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been
rendered useless because magnetic strip is worn away
from extensive use.

11. XEROX SUBSIDY : Euphemism for swiping free
photocopies from one's workplace.

12. IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles
that are Annoying but you find yourself unable to stop
watching them.

13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE : The fine art of whacking
the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work
again. Often feel like doing this to my computer

14. ADMINISPHERE : The rarefied organizational layers
beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that
fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly
inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were
designed to solve.

15. 404 : Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide
Web error Message "404 Not Found," meaning that the
requested site could not be located.

16. GENERICA : Features of the American landscape that
are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as
fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.

17. OHNO-SECOND : That minuscule fraction of time in
which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.
(Like after hitting send on an email by mistake).

18. WOOFS : Well-Off Older Folks.

19. CROP DUSTING : Surreptitiously passing gas while
passing through a Cube Farm.

Hidden Programs of WINDOWS

2007-01-07T13:19:00.000-06:00

HIDDEN PROGRAMS OF WINDOWS:
1- Private Character Editor
This program is for designing icons and Characters(Alphapet )
Click :start
Then :run
type :EUDCEDIT
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .......
2- iExpress
This Program is for converting your files to EXCUTABLE files
Click : start
Then : run
type : iexpress
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .......
3-Disk Cleanup
This program used for cleaning harddisk to offer space
Click : start
Then : run
type : cleanmgr
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .......
4-Dr Watson
This program Is for repairing problems in Windows
Click : start
Then : run
type : drwtsn32
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .......
5-Windows Media Player 5.1
Opens the old media player
Click : start
Then : run
type : mplay32
............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .......
Program ............ . CODE
__________ __________
Character Map = charmap

DirectX diagnosis = dxdiag

Object Packager = packager

System Monitor = perfmon

Program Manager = progman

Remote Access phone book = rasphone

Registry Editor = regedt32

File siganture verification tool = sigverif

Volume Control = sndvol32

System Configuration Editor = sysedit

Syskey = syskey

microsoft Telnet Client = telnet

American Intillegence

2007-01-07T13:17:00.000-06:00

While visiting India , George Bush is invited to tea with
Indian President Abdul Kalam.

He asks Kalam what his leadership philosophy is. He says that,
it is to surround himself with intelligent people.

Bush asks how he knows if they're intelligent.

"I do so by asking them the right questions," says Kalam."Allow
me to demonstrate. "

Bush watches as Kalam phones Manmohan Singh and says, "Mr.
Prime Minister, please answer this question: your mother has a
child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your
brother or sister. Who is it?"

Manmohan immediately responds, "It's me, Sir !"

"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says Kalam. He hangs up
and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"

Bush nods: "Yes Mr. President. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be
using that!"

Bush, upon returning to Washington, decides he'd better put the
Condoleeza Rice to the test. Bush summons her to the White House and says, "Condoleeza, I wonder if you can answer a
question for me."

"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"

Bush poses the question: "Uhh, your mother has a child, and
your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or
your sister. Who is it?"

Rice was puzzled and finally asks, "Can I think about it and
get back to you?" Bush agrees, and Rice leaves. Rice
immediately calls a meeting of senior senators, and they puzzle
over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up
with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Rice calls Colin
Powell and explains the problem.

"Mr. Powell, your mother has a child, and your father has a
child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who
is it?"

Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course."

Much relieved, Rice rushes back to the White House, finds
George Bush, and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who
it is! It's our Colin Powell!"

And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, its

Manmohan Singh!"

Dance PErformance by Amira Group

2006-11-24T13:04:00.000-06:00

One Leg Dance

2006-11-24T12:59:00.000-06:00

Awesome Ad

2006-11-09T13:17:00.000-06:00

Software Engineer Kid

2006-11-07T19:59:00.001-06:00

The Teacher gave a punishment to the student and asked
him to write
"I Will Not Throw Paper Airplanes in the Class" 500
times on board.

AND

The Student Wrote

#include
int main (void)
{
int count;
for (count = 1; count <= 500; count ++)
{
printf(""I Will Not Throw Paper Airplanes
in the Class");
}
return (0);
}

Be a born software engineer

2006-11-07T19:59:00.000-06:00

HR exceutive writes a love letter

2006-11-07T19:42:00.000-06:00

Dearest Ms Juliet,

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in
Love with you since
the 14th of October (Sunday). With reference to the
meeting held
between us on the 27th of July. at 1500 hrs, I would
like to present myself
as a prospective lover.

Our love affair would be on probation for a period of
three months and
depending on compatibility, would be made permanent.
Of course, upon
completion of probation, there will be continuous on
the job training and
performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion
from lover to
spouse.

The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment
would initially be
shared equally between us. Later, based on your
performance, I might
take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am
broadminded enough to
be taken care of, on your expense account.

I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of
receiving this
letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled
without further notice
and I shall be considering someone else. I would be
happy, if you could
forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish
to take up this
offer.

Thanking you in anticipation,

Yours sincerely,

Romeo ( HR Executive )

Happy Diwali

2006-10-20T23:30:00.000-05:00

Diwali, also called Deepavali (Sanskrit: दीपावली, Tamil: தீபாவளி Kannada:ದೀಪಾವಳಿ is a major Hindu festival. Known as the "Festival of Lights," it symbolises the victory of good over evil, and lamps are lit as a sign of celebration and hope for mankind. The festival of Diwali is rooted in the mythological epic Ramayana, and is a celebration of the return of Lord Ram after killing Ravan the Demon during his exile for 14 years. The day of killing Ravan is celebrated as Dussehra (19 to 21 days before Diwali). Celebrations focus on lights and lamps, particularly traditional diyas (as illustrated). Fireworks are associated with the festival in many regions of India.
More....

Source: Wikipedia

USB Teddy Bear

2006-09-15T12:04:00.000-05:00

coolest gadget, i have seen...
Source:Engadget

Tomato in Vinayaka shape

2006-09-07T10:11:00.001-05:00

Tomato in Vinayaka shape

2006-09-07T10:11:00.000-05:00

Crocodile Hunter Dead

2006-09-06T19:15:00.000-05:00

Crocodile Hunter Dead - video powered by Metacafe

Live report from Australia to CNN about the death of Steve Irwin.

Accelerated Webcam Miraflores Lock (panama canal)

2006-09-06T19:08:00.000-05:00

Accelerated Webcam Miraflores Lock (panama canal) - video powered by Metacafe

12 hours converted into 1 min. Pretty cool no?

Pepsi Ad

2006-09-03T10:16:00.000-05:00

Pepsi Advertisement - video powered by Metacafe

UC Berkeley Hindi Film Dance -- Aao Naa

2006-08-23T20:20:00.000-05:00

An Office like this...

2006-08-22T08:17:00.000-05:00

Hi Guys....hope u may get "an office" like this.....
Hope you may get an office like this .......... (,")

The four liquid stages of life

2006-08-20T11:11:00.000-05:00

Funny Definitons

2006-08-20T11:07:00.000-05:00

1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

2. Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

3. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

4. Divorce: Future tense of marriage

5. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

6. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

7. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

8. Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power...

9. Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.

10. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

11. Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

12. Classic: books which people praise, but do not read.

13. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

14. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

15. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

16. Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

18. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

20. Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

21. Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

22. Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

23. Optimist: A person who while falling from EiffelTower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

24. Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY

25. Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

26. Father: A banker provided by nature.

27. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

28. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

29. Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after?

30. Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

31. Computer Engineer: One who gets paid for reading such mails...

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2006-08-10T10:46:00.000-05:00

Happy Friendship Day

2006-08-06T18:40:00.000-05:00

108 Names Of Lord Ganesha

2006-08-06T13:19:00.000-05:00

108 Names Of Lord Ganesha Name Meaning
1 Akhurath One who has Mouse as His
Charioteer
2 Alampata Ever Eternal Lord
3 Amit Incomparable Lord
4 Anantachidrupamayam Infinite and ConsciousnessPersonified
5 Avaneesh Lord of the whole World
6 Avighna Remover of Obstacles
7 Balaganapati Beloved and Lovable Child
8 Bhalchandra Moon-Crested Lord
9 Bheema Huge and Gigantic
10 Bhupati Lord of the Gods 1
11 Bhuvanpati God of the Gods
12 Buddhinath God of Wisdom
13 Buddhipriya Knowledge Bestower
14 Buddhividhata God of Knowledge
15 Chaturbhuj One who has Four Arms
16 Devadeva Lord of All Lords
17 Devantakanashakarin Destroyer of Evils and Asuras
18 Devavrata One who accepts all Penances
19 Devendrashika Protector of All Gods
20 Dharmik One who gives Charity
21 Dhoomravarna Smoke-Hued Lord
22 Durja Invincible Lord
23 Dvaimatura One who has two Mothers
24 Ekaakshara He of the Single Syllable
25 Ekadanta Single-Tusked Lord
26 Ekadrishta Single-Tusked Lord
27 Eshanputra Lord Shiva's Son
28 Gadadhara One who has The Mace as His Weapon

29 Gajakarna One who has Eyes like an Elephant
30 Gajanana Elephant-Faced Lord
31 Gajananeti Elephant-Faced Lord
32 Gajavakra Trunk of The Elephant
33 Gajavaktra One who has Mouth like an Elephant
34 Ganadhakshya Lord of All Ganas (Gods)
35 Ganadhyakshina Leader of All The Celestial Bodies
36 Ganapati Lord of All Ganas (Gods)
37 Gaurisuta The Son of Gauri (Parvati)
38 Gunina One who is The Master of All
Virtues
39 Haridra One who is Golden Coloured
40 Heramba Mother's Beloved Son
41 Kapila Yellowish-Brown Coloured
42 Kaveesha Master of Poets
43 K rti Lord of Music
44 Kripalu Merciful Lord
45 Krishapingaksha Yellowish-Brown Eyed
46 Kshamakaram The Place of Forgiveness
47 Kshipra One who is easy to Appease
48 Lambakarna Large-Eared Lord
49 Lambodara The Huge Bellied Lord
50 Mahabala Enormously Strong Lord
51 Mahaganapati Omnipotent and Supreme Lord
52 Maheshwaram Lord of The Universe
53 Mangalamurti All Auspicious Lord
54 Manomay Winner of Hearts
55 Mrityuanjaya Conqueror of Death
56 Mundakarama Abode of Happiness
57 Muktidaya Bestower of Eternal Bliss
58 Musikvahana One who has Mouse as Charioteer
59 Nadapratithishta One who Appreciates and Loves Music
60 Namasthetu Vanquisher of All Evils and Vices
and Sins
61 Nandana Lord Shiva's Son
62 Nideeshwaram Giver of Wealth and Treasures
63 Omkara One who has the Form Of OM
64 Pitambara One who has Yellow-Coloured Body
65 Pramoda Lord of All Abodes
66 Prathameshwara First Among All
67 Purush The Omnipotent Personality
68 Rakta One who has Red-Coloured
Body
69 Rudrapriya Beloved Of Lord Shiva
70 Sarvadevatman Acceptor of All Celestial Offerings
71 Sarvasiddhanta Bestower of Skills and Wisdom
72 Sarvatman Protector of The Universe
73 Shambhavi The Son of Parvati
74 Shashivarnam One who has a Moon like Complexion
75 Shoorpakarna Large-Eared Lord
76 Shuban All Auspicious Lord
77 Shubhagunakanan One who is The Master of All Virtues
78 Shweta One who is as Pure as the
White Colour
79 Siddhidhata Bestower of Success and
Accomplishments
80 Siddhipriya Bestower of Wishes and Boons
81 Siddhivinayaka Bestower of Success
82 Skandapurvaja Elder Brother of Skand (Lord
Kartik)
83 Sumukha Auspicious Face
84 Sureshwaram Lord of All Lords
85 Swaroop Lover of Beauty
86 Tarun Ageless
87 Uddanda Nemesis of Evils and Vices
88 Umaputra The Son of Goddess Uma
(Parvati)
89 Vakratunda Curved Trunk Lord
90 Varaganapati Bestower of Boons
91 Varaprada Granter of Wishes and Boons
92 Varadavinayaka Bestower of Success
93 Veeraganapati Heroic Lord
94 Vidyavaridhi God of Wisdom
95 Vighnahara Remover of Obstacles
96 Vignaharta Demolisher of Obstacles
97 Vighnaraja Lord of All Hindrances
98 Vighnarajendra Lord of All Obstacles
99 Vighnavinashanaya Destroyer of All Obstacles and
Impediments
100 Vigneshwara Lord of All Obstacles
101 Vikat Huge and Gigantic
102 Vinayaka Lord of All
103 Vishwamukha Master of The Universe
104 Vishwaraja King of The World |
105 Yagnakaya Acceptor of All Sacred and
Sacrficial Offerings
106 Yashaskaram Bestower of Fame and Fortune
107 Yashvasin Beloved and Ever Popular Lord
108 Yogadhipa The Lord of Meditation

Baby Cry Remix Download

2006-07-29T17:03:00.000-05:00

Right clik and 'save target as'

A DAY WITH CUSTOMER SUPPORT

2006-07-29T10:52:00.000-05:00

1). Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

Customer "Ok."

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer "No."

Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
this point?"

Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

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-------------------------------------
2) Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still
getting the same error message."

Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"

Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"

----------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------
3).Customer:: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."

Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done."

Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."

Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."

Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."

Customer:: "What?"

Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"

Customer: "No..."

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-----------------------------------
4) Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"

Tech Support:: ?!%#$

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-----------------------------------
5) Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen,
canyou see the 'OK' button displayed?"

Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

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-----------------------------------
6) Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you have?"

Customer:: "A white one."

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-----------------------------------
7) Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."

Customer:: "How do you spell that?"

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------------------------------------
8) Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"

Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery
store."

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------------------------------------
9) Tech Support:: "What operating system are you running?"

Customer: "Pentium."

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------------------------------------
10) Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal
abortion."

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11) Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."

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------------------------------------
12) Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"

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------------------------------------
13) Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to
print document, but the computer won't boot properly."

Tech Support: "What does it say?"

Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."

Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"

Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."

----------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------
14) Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're
open 24 hours."

Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"

----------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------
15) Tech Support:: "What does the screen say now?"

Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."

Tech Support:: "Well?"

Customer: "How do I know whe! n it's ready?"

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-----------------------------------------
16) A plain computer illeterate guy rings tech support to report that
his computer is faulty.

Tech: What's the problem?

User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.

Tech: You'll need a new power supply.

User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.

Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.

User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the
startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me
the command.

10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The
tech is frustrated and fed up.

Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but
there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.

User: I knew it!

Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the
CONFIG.SYS.

Letme know how it goes.

10 minutes later.

User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.

Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?

User: MS-DOS 6.22.

Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with
NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give
you the file. Let me know how it goes.

1 hour later.

User: I need a new power supply.

Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?

User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he
started asking questions about the make of power supply.

Tech: Then what did he say?

User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.

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---------------------------------------

17) Customer care officer: I need a product identification no: right
now and may I help u in finding it out?

Cust: sure

CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?

Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?

Kiss your loved one 147 ways

2006-07-28T12:58:00.000-05:00

1.. Aggressive Kiss - While kissing your partner, gently bite down on their lower lip and look up at them. Start sucking on the bottom lip to give them a great sensation.

2.. All Over Kiss - Grab your partner gently, then begin kissing the forehead, moving down to the nose. Tenderly, with an aggressive feeling, give your partner your best kiss right on the lips. Next, move your way down and continue with your own imagination.

3.. Angel Kiss - This is a sweet, comforting kiss. Gently and ever so lightly kiss your partner either on the eye lid or right next to the eyes.

4.. Angel's Wings Kiss - Take a piece of ice and place it in the small of her back. Slowly move the ice up her back to her shoulder blades. End the kiss by gently sucking until the ice melts.

5.. Animal Kisses - Prior to kissing, select a bunch of animals and write them down. As you kiss, select different animals and then kiss how you think that animal species kisses. The next animal is selected when the animal's kiss is acheived.
6.. Back Kisses - Remove your partners shirt and have them lie down on their stomach. Sit comfortably over your partners lower back and start kissing from the neck all the way down their back, while softly licking & breathing where you have kissed. This will give your partner cold shivers and it is very exciting.

7.. Bambi Kiss - A light lick on the side of the face.

8.. Belly Button Kiss - Lightly kiss and blow on her belly button. It should give her the shivers and make her giggle.

9.. Belly Button Kiss 2 - Lift your shirt and your partners (no shirts work too). Place your belly button's against each other. You'll be at the perfect height for an intimate kiss.

10.. Belly Button Lick - Get a yummy cream or drink (whipped cream, etc) and fill your girlfriend/boyfriends belly button with it and lick it out.

11.. Belly Button Shot Kiss - Put some wine in your partners belly button, then use your tongue to get it out or you can gently suck it out. This is a sexy, fun kiss.

12.. Belly Kiss - Get down on one knee. Softly lift your partners shirt to reveal a little bit of their belly, then kiss what is revealed. This kiss can lead to more.

13.. Belly Ring Kiss - If your girl has a belly ring, this is a fun kiss. Get down on one knee and slowly lift her shirt to expose her belly button, kissing around her belly button area. Next, kiss directly on the belly button and softly take your tongue, running it slowly around her belly button. Doing this a few times will definitely turn her on.

14.. Belly Ring Kiss - This is only used if your partner has a belly ring. Have your partner lay on the sofa, then slowly stick your tongue out on their navel. Move your tongue around it, gently sucking and licking.

15.. Blow Kiss - While kissing with a little bit of tongue you blow into your partners' mouth causing there cheeks to poof up! Its so much fun and it'll make your partner giggle! Don't blow too hard!

16.. Bottom Lip Kiss - While kissing your partner, gently suck on their bottom lip. If you can, slightly pull away with their lip while you suck on it. This is a very passionate kiss that is fun to do and usually leads to more intense kissing.

17.. Breath Kiss - While kissing, pull back slowly and make your way to the person's cheek or neck, and tell them to sit still. Gently breathe out of your mouth on the cheek/neck, and listen to them giggle and groan with delight!

18.. Bubble Bath Kiss - Fill the bath tub up with water and tons of bubble bath. While in the tub together, wash and kiss each other at the same time. You and your partner will both love it and it can lead to even more fun things.

19.. Bubble Gum Kiss - Blow a bubble with your favorite bubble gum, then ask your partner to put his or her mouth over the bubble and start kissing.

20.. Butterfly Kiss - With your faces less than a breath away, open and close your eyelids against your partners. If done correctly, the fluttering sensation will match the one in your heart.

21.. Cheek Kiss - A friendly, "I really like you" kiss. Often the preferred kissing method of a first date. With your hands on your partner's shoulders, gently brush your lips across her cheek.

22.. Collarbone Kiss - Begin kissing your partner's neck, all the way up by the ear, then slowly work your way down their neck to their collarbone. This is very sensual and arousing.

23.. Cotton Candy Kiss - Put a big piece of cotton candy in your mouth and start kissing your partner. The cotton candy melts and it tastes amazing!

24.. Cute Kiss - For some fun, gently and quickly kiss all over their face and neck, while at the same time holding each other like you havent seen them for years. This is a way to start something fun!

25.. Deep Throat Kiss - Grab your partner (not too rough) and kiss them, with both of your mouths wide open, like you are trying to reach the back of their throat.

26.. Dizzy Kiss - Before kissing, both you and your partner spin around in circles separately. Do this one minute to three minutes, then try to kiss each other.

27.. Drink Kiss - Take a sip of your favorite drink (wine, something fruity, etc). Give your partner a kiss and a little taste of the beverage at the same time.

28.. Duck Kiss - Move your head back and forth like a duck while your tongue moves in and out of your partners mouth like a lizard.

29.. Earlobe Kiss - Gently sip and suck the earlobe. Avoid louder sucking noises as ears are sensitized noise detectors.

30.. Eskimo Kiss - With your faces less than a breath apart, gently rub your noses together.

31.. Extra Texture - Stand or kneel behind your partner. With them either laying down or sitting with head tilted back, kiss while rubbing the tops of your tongues together. The cat-like lick feeling is incredible.

32.. Eyelid Kiss - Softly kiss your partners eyelids one at a time. This is a very erotic and arousing kiss.

33.. Fast Flying Kiss - If your partner is out of town, look into his/her eyes from the distance and blow a kiss in their direction, letting it fly towards them.

34.. Fiery Kiss - Quickly walk towards your partner and put one hand behind their head and the other behind them. Quick movements are necessary for this passionate kiss.

35.. Finger Kiss - While kissing, as he raises his hands to your face, take them, hold them, and slowly ease away from his mouth. Gently kiss and or suck each finger. This feels great and it is very fun to watch.

36.. First Kiss - A first kiss is like a wish. You move closer and closer to each other, hoping for the kiss. You're lips gently touch and you feel the rush.

37.. Fish Kiss - Both you and your partner should suck in your cheeks until your lips are shaped like a fish. Then, move towards each other with your lips opening and closing until your lips meet. This is a fun and entertaining kiss.

38.. Flash Bang Kiss - This is a lip-lock variation. While your heads are a few feet apart, grab your partner around the waistline or neck, forcing your lips as close to theirs as possible and as quickly as possible, stopping just inches from their lips. You don't want to knock your partner out or smash their face with yours. :-) Then press your lips firm to theirs, making them tilt their head back a little. This will leave them stunned and satisfied.

39.. Flutter Kiss - While French kissing, gently bite your partners tongue so that they can't pull it away. Flutter your tongue against the tip of theirs and it will drive him/her insane if they're not ready for it.

40.. Foot Kiss - An erotic and romantic gesture. It may tickle, but relax and enjoy it! To give a toe kiss by gently suck the toes and then lightly kissing the foot. It helps to gently massage the base of the foot while performing the kiss.

41.. Forehead Kiss - The "motherly" kiss or "just friends" kiss. The forehead kiss can be a comforting kiss to anyone. Simply brush your lips lightly across the crown of their head.

42.. Freeze Kiss - (aka Melt Kiss) Experiment with this fun kiss. Put a small piece of ice in your mouth, then open mouth and kiss your partner, passing them the ice with your tongue. It's an erotic and sensual French kiss with a twist of cold.

43.. French Kiss - The kiss involving the tongue. Some call this the "Soul Kiss" because the life and soul are thought to pass through the mouth's breath in the exchange across tongues.

44.. French Massage Kiss - While kissing your partner, slowly roll your tongue into their mouth then massage their tongue and mouth.

45.. Frosty Kiss - Take a spoonful of a frosty from Wendy's and kiss your partner. It's cold, but hot at the same time. This is also fun because you can end up spoon-feeding each other, which is quite romantic.

46.. Frustrating Kiss - (For women) In the middle of a kissing session, when your guy leans in to kiss you, let his lips nearly touch yours, then quickly pull your head back a few inches. Do this a few times in a row. It'll frustrate him and cause him to tighten his grip on you before he finally captures your lips for a hot desirable kiss.

47.. Ghost Kiss - Get very close to your lover's face and look down at their lips as if you're about to kiss them. Just as they believe you're going to kiss, brush your lips up over their cheekbones and eyelids without firmly kissing. The ghost kiss will leave them wanting so much more!

48.. Gum Kiss - One of you puts a piece of gum in your mouth. Play keep away with the gum.

49.. Gypsy kiss - Lightly kiss and lick the neck, then slowly move up to the ear. If she is wearing earrings, put it in your mouth as you suck on her earlobe.

50.. Hand Kiss - Gently raise her hand to your lips. Lightly brush your lips across the top of her hand. Historically this kiss was performed with a bow, which showed deference to a lady.

51.. Hard Kiss - Also known as the full-body kiss. Press your partner against a wall with your full body (not too hard!) and firmly kiss them. This exciting kiss will leave your partner breathless and wanting more.

52.. Hershey Kiss - Give your partner a chocolaty Hershey kiss. (Great for when you're on a kissing break).

53.. Hershey Kiss #2 - Like the Cotton Candy Kiss, put a hershey kiss in your mouth and start kissing your partner. The hershey kiss melts and it tastes amazing!

54.. Hickey Kiss - The object is not to draw blood, but to gently leave a mark that will prove your interlude was not a dream. This is often included in erotic foreplay.

55.. Hit-and-Run Kiss - Gently peck your partner on the cheek or lips and then run off out of sight. This leaves them in a state of awe and they always come back for more.

56.. Hot Fudge Kiss - Put some hot fudge on your partners stumic and then lick it off.

57.. Hot/Cold Kiss - Get a cold drink and put some in your mouth. Have your partner gets a hot drink and puts some in their mouth. You then French kiss leaving a sensational feeling.

58.. Hug n' Kiss - Suddenly hug your partner in a romantic way. Switch to a little dance while turning on romantic music and then gently start kissing. You'll have a warm and romantic moment.

59.. Ice Cream Kiss - Take your partner out for ice cream and order one cone. Take the first bite and keep it in your mouth. Lean into your partner for a French kiss with the ice cream. Trade off taking bites. It's fun and a little funny.

60.. Ice Cube Kiss - Place an ice cube in your partners belly button, telling them that if they move and it falls out, you will stop kissing them. When the ice cube melts, you can use the cold water all over to make for an awesome sensation.

61.. Ice Kiss - Take a piece of ice in your mouth and hold it on your tongue until it melts, then sneak up on your partner and quickly lick their cheek or neck. It provides a cold but great feeling for them and it's a lot of fun!

62.. Jawline Kiss - Start by short kisses right below the jaw and work your way down to the collar bone. Next, blow a little air as you make your way back to the jaw.

63.. Kiss with a Twist - Lean in to kiss your partner and just as they come to meet your lips, pull back. They'll think your playing, but surprise them by leaning in and giving them the kiss of a lifetime!

64.. Laughter Kiss - Lean in like you're going to kiss your partner. Get close enough to where your lips slightly brush theirs as you whisper a joke. Just make sure it's a good joke!

65.. Letter Kiss - Send your lover a kiss in a love letter by writing the letter x several times in a row at the bottom of a letter such as XXXXX.

66.. Lip Tease Kiss - Lightly lick your partner's lips, from the outside to the inside. They will react to opening their lips further, then you lick inward more. This kiss leaves a wonderful tingling sensation.

67.. Lizard Kiss - When you are leaning in to kiss your partner, stick the tip of your tongue out and touch their lips. Quickly return your tongue to you mouth. Its especially funny when both of you do it at the same time.

68.. Loubie Smooch - Roll your partner over and kiss one of their bum cheeks then give it a little playful bite. Guaranteed to surprise your partner!

69.. Make-out Starter Kiss - While you're kissing, move your tongue back and forth really fast. If your partner says anything about it, act like it didn't happen...It's a great make-out starter.

70.. Mermaid Kiss - Have your partner let all of his/her breath out and go under water. Follow them down, connect, and give your breath to them. This kiss is fun and very connecting.

71.. Minty Hot Kiss - Put your favorite minty gum in your mouth and have your partner put their favorite spicy gum in their mouth. While French kissing, exchange each others gum from mouth to mouth, getting a cold and warm feeling.

72.. Mistletoe Kiss - Surprise your lover by capturing them with a gentle holiday kiss under the mistletoe. This is also a good method for shyer individuals to steal a kiss from a potential lover.

73.. Name Kiss - A kiss where you spell your name with your tongue while kissing your partner.

74.. Neck Kiss - Come up behind the person you want to kiss. Lightly lick the back of their neck, then kiss the back of their neck a few times.

75.. Neck Kiss (Alternate) - Alternate kissing and licking at the hollow point of the collar bone and slowly travel upward, then end with a deep kiss on the mouth, French is preferred.

76.. Neck Lick Kiss - Slowly lick up the side of her neck to her ear and trace it back with your lips, kissing gently. She's sure to get chills.

77.. Neck Nibble Kiss - Gently nibble up and down your partners neck. End with a gentle kiss on the lips.

78.. Nibble Kiss - While you and your partner are kissing, gently nibble on their tongue. This produces an erotic sensation and is a laugh!

79.. Nip Kiss - This kiss can create a very erotic sensation. While kissing your partner, ever so gently nibble on their lips. You must be very careful not to bite to hard or hurt your partner. When done correctly, this kiss ignites wonderful sensations.

80.. Non-stop Kiss - Make out, slipping your tongue in and out of your partners mouth. Keep going for as long as you can.

81.. Nose Kiss - Lean forward slowly to their face and softly kiss your partner's nose. This is a good way to get your partner's attention and it always makes them smile!

82.. Ocean Kiss - Standing in the ocean up to your thighs, when a wave approaches, both partners kiss. As the wave crashes into each other, the wave will hit both partners with passion.

83.. Open Eye Kiss - Look your loved one in the eye. While staring at them, lean in and kiss them slowly, looking into their eyes the entire time. This will show your partner how much you care about them, and give them butterflies at the same time!

84.. Peck Kiss - Kiss your partner's lips lightly as to say a little. This isn't very intimate, but it's kind of arousing!

85.. Playful Bop Kiss - Gently bop and pop your lips on your partners (like spiting out sunflower seeds without actually spitting on them). This is a very playful kiss

86.. Pop Rock Kiss - One partner has a drink in there mouth and the other has the pop rocks. Start to French kiss and you get a spark!

87.. Pop the Bubble - both you and your partner blow a bubble gum bubble and then pop it with each others mouths, kissing each other at the same time. This makes for a fun and sexy kiss!

88.. Pulse Kiss - Kiss your partner up and down the jaw line and neck with soft searching kisses until you find their pulse. Nip it very gently then kiss the spot.

89.. Purr Kiss - Also known as the Tough Girl Kiss. While you are gently kissing their lips, make a loud, vibrant purring sound (so they can hear and feel it next to their lips). Then, bite and suck on their bottom lip. This is fun and brings out the wild side in both of you. Me-Ow!

90.. Quickie Kiss - When you're in a rush. Often the nose gets it rather than the lips.

91.. Rain Kiss - When alone with your lover in the street during rain, gently pull him/her aside and kiss them in the rain. It's very romantic.

92.. Reese's Kiss - Put a minature Reeses peanut butter in your mouth and kiss your partner at the same time.

93.. Rolling Tongue Kiss - Similar to a French kiss, but both partners should roll their tongue's around each others.

94.. Romantic Kiss - Look at your partner with passion, then gently move in for a kiss with your lips half open. As soon as you make contact, close your lips slowly. Open and close your lips three times then move away. They'll definitely want more!

95.. Romantic Kiss - Before you begin kissing, simply hold your partner in your arms in a passionate and romantic embrace.

96.. See-Saw Kiss - Grab your partner. Get closer as you connect tongues. Move your tongues up and down from the roof of your mouths to the bottom of the mouths creating a see-saw motion. If done correctly, it will create a tangy, fun-filled adventure.

97.. Sensational Kiss - When laying beside your partner, kiss them on there lips then making a trail across there cheek to the ear, after the trail follow back down with your nose, and blowing softly air on them, your partner should get the shivers, and will lead to more fun afterwards.

98.. Sensual Kiss - This kiss is for the girls. Slowly go in for that romantic sensual kiss and slide your tongue up underneath your partners upper lip, moving your tounge around slowly. To end the kiss, slowly pull away and bite down on the top lip for that great feeling.

99.. Sensual Surprise Kiss - Gently place your hands on the sides of your partner's face with your fingers slightly apart. Hold their head lightly, hesitating a little. Just when they think they're getting a gentle, romantic kiss, give their lips a few teasing sensual jabs with your tongue followed by a passionate French kiss. It'll make them crazy.100.. Sexy Kiss - Embrace your partner and stick your tongue out. Get her/him to stick his tongue out too and flicker your tongues. This creates a passionate sensation.

101.. Shoulder Kiss - Simply come from behind, embrace her, and kiss the top of her shoulder. This is a sensual, loving kiss.

102.. Side Kiss - Come up behind your partner, embrace her and kiss when she turns her head slightly to meet your lips.

103.. Simple Kiss - That sweet simple kiss from a loved one that leaves you wanting more? The one where you've been staring into each other's eyes and you're content just staring, but your partner leans over and kisses you ever so lightly on the cheek or tip of the nose.

104.. Sip Kiss - Take a small sip of your favorite drink. Leaving a little bit of it on your lips, kiss your partner. It is a unique way to create a sensual feeling and your partner will enjoy it.

105.. Slo-Mo Kisses - The object with this kiss is to see how slow you and your partner can kiss each other. Slow kisses are generally considered quite desirable and passionate, so you'll have fun with this. You and your partner begin kissing each other. As you kiss, concentrate on moving your lips and tongue slower and slower. Try to feel each little nerve signal that is being sent to your brain as you slowly explore each other's mouths. Once you've got this down... move even slower!

106.. Slow Kissing - French kiss your partner 10x slower than you normally would. For instance, kiss for 30 minutes or so. Try this with any kiss listed here, just take it very s-l-o-w-l-y.

107.. Snow Kiss - Take a bit of snow and put it into your mouth. As quick as you can, without banging heads or teeth, kiss your partner. This is a great kiss for winter walks.

108.. Spaghetti and Meatball Kiss - Also know as 'The Lady & The Tramp Kiss'. While sharing a plate of spaghetti and meatballs, feed each other. Then with one long noodle (a side in each mouth), take some in getting closer and closer to each other. When you get to the end of the noodle, your lips will meet, ending in a nice kiss.

109.. Spiderman Kiss - While your partner is lying down on the bed or ground (it's especially sweet when they are laying outside in the sun), you come above them and kiss them so they are upside down compared to you.

110.. Starburst Kiss - While French kissing, try to unwrap a Starburst with your tongue. Whoever gets the wrapper off first is the winner. It's a fun type of kiss that adds a little extra fun to the act.

111.. Stomach Kiss - Gently kiss and nibble on your partners stomach, and sometimes it leads to other things.

112.. Strawberry Kiss - Also known as the Fruiti-licious kiss. Eat a strawberry and kiss your partner, leaving a sweet taste in their mouth. It's fun and a really cute way to "feed" each other.

113.. Super Kiss - As you hold you partner give them a quick kiss followed by another and another very quickly. It's a really cute and playful way to kiss one another.

114.. Sweet Kiss - Take piece of your favorite candy, put it in your mouth and kiss your partner. Exchange the candy from mouth to mouth, until the candy melts. Feel free to keep on kissing after the candy is long gone!

115.. Switch Kiss - While French kissing, switch the way that your head is tilted.

116.. Tackle Kiss - When you're across the room from your lover, make a quick dash and catch them by surprise with hugs and kisses! This is very fun and romantic.

117.. Take My Breath Away Kiss - While you and your partner are French kissing, wait until your partner inhales. When they inhale, exhale into their mouth. It will literally take your breath away. You can do this visa versa. It is a very entertaining kiss.

118.. Talking Kiss - Whisper sweet nothings into your partner's mouth. If caught in the act, simply say as Chico Marx, "I wasn't kissing her. I was whispering into her mouth."

119.. Temple Kiss - Kiss your partner on the temple and then slowly kiss from down to the check bone. S/he won't be able to get enough!

120.. Tickle Kiss - Tickle the top of your partner's mouth with your tongue. It feels great and will give them a wild sensation.

121.. Tickle Kiss - While hugging your partner, tickle them and make them laugh. While they're laughing, kiss them. Then tickle and kiss again. Women especially love this one!

122.. Tiger Kiss - Quietly sneak up behind your partner making sure they do not know what you are going to do. Out of the blue, grab them and gently bite their neck. Make sure to get a few good growls in too. This will surely surprise them.

123.. Tongue Kiss - While French kissing your partner, gently suck their tongue while it's in your mouth. This produces a wonderful, erotic feeling for both!

124.. Tongue Tease - While french kissing, try moving your tongue on his teeth, then stick it in and out of his mouth. Be sure to move slowly as it will really excite him.

125.. Tongue to Tongue Kiss - While sitting on chair beside each other, touch your partner's tongue with the tip of your tongue. It will give you both a wild pleasure.

126.. Tracing Kiss - When kissing your lover, gently trace there lips with your tongue.

127.. Underwater Deep End Kiss - Dive to the bottom of the deep end of a pool. Find your partner under water and begin kissing. Continue as you rise to the top.

128.. Underwater Kiss - Find your partner under water. Embrace and kiss. It's a unique and wonderful feeling. By the time you run out of air, you'll be back at the top. Continuing the kiss is optional.

129.. Upside Down Kiss - You stand behind your partner (who is seated or laying down) and have them tilt their head back. Then kiss them so that you nibble their lower lip and they nibble yours. This is fun and feels good because you can feel them breathing on your neck as you kiss.

130.. Vacuum Kiss - While kissing open-mouthed, slightly suck in as if you were sucking the air from your partners mouth. This is a playful kiss.

131.. Vampire Kiss - When French kissing, gently bite his/her tongue so they can't pull away. While you have it between your teeth, suck on their tongue with your mouth. It will drive them crazy.

132.. Venom Kiss - Freshly apply a special lip gloss called 'Venom Gloss' by Duwop, kiss your lover ever so slightly on the lips and then more intensly. Wait a little and then their lips will start to have a warm almost burning sensation. It will leave them wanting more!

133.. Virtual Kiss - For Internet lovers. Send an e-card or a kiss via email with this symbol: :-* .

134.. Waistline Kiss - Kiss your partner softly, just slightly below and adjacent to the belly button. This will drive pretty much any woman wild.

135.. Wave Kiss - While kissing your partner, slowly roll your tongue like a wave, up and down. It can be a little sloppy, but it's a unique feeling and always gets a little laugh when it's done.

136.. Wet Kiss - Once you have been kissing enough that both of your lips are wet, with your mouth barely open, gently rub back and forth, up and down, around and around.

137.. Whipped Cream Kiss - Put a line of whipped cream down your partners neck and slowly lick it off. Then, with a little bit still in your mouth, kiss them!

138.. Winter Chills Kiss - Kiss your partner on the neck, then casually lick where you just kissed. Next, gently blow on the area. It creates a weird, cold sensation, but definitely an arousing ordeal.

139.. Zorro Kiss - Like a French kiss except the participants' tongues are swordfighting. Mucho romantico
140.. As you are making out passionatley with your lover, stop mid-kiss and move your head down to were his or her shiirt ends, Pull it up and gently kiss their belly. Start taking thier shirt off and move up their torso. When you reach their chest, kiss, nibble and suck. It will have your partner aroused in seconds!

141.. Australian Kiss - Like a French kiss, but down under.

142.. Naked-at-the-Door Kiss - Meet your partner at the door naked when they come home. Grab him by the belt and pull him to the couch on top of you and kiss him passionately. This always leads to more!

143.. Nipple Kiss - While you have a moment to yourselves, gently kiss, lick, and suck on your partner's nipple. Blowing on it makes it cold and gives a great sensation, while lightly nibbling will make your partner go wild. This kiss will definitely lead to more.

144.. Shaba Kiss - Get down on one knee. Softly lift your partners shirt and move down towards the hips, kissing what is revealed. Rotate your tongue while you're kissing. his kiss can definitely lead to more.

145.. Side-on Lining Kiss - (For males). Gently pass your hand down the body of your partner, then slowly pull down the panty a bit. Lightly kiss on the impressions left on the hip by the elastic of the panty. This is a very sensuous kiss.

146.. Strip Kiss - Only try this kiss if you are very close to your partner. Start French kissing your partner. Stop and slowly take off their shirt. Resume kissing. Stop again and kneel to one knee. Take off your partner's socks, shoes, and pants, leaving them in their underwear.

147.. Thigh Kiss - Gently kiss your partner behind the knee and slowly kiss your way up her thigh. It will drive her mad.

Baby Cry Remix

2006-07-27T01:43:00.000-05:00

Join the queue

2006-07-25T17:36:00.000-05:00

A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual
funeral procession A funeral coffin was followed by a second one about 50 feet
behind the first. Behind the second coffin was a solitary man walking with a
black dog.

Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in single line. The man couldn't
stand his curiosity.

He approached the man walking with the dog, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I
know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this
with so many of you walking in single line. Whose funeral is it? "

The man replied, "Well, that first coffin is for my wife. "

What happened to her? " !

The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her. "

He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second coffin? "

The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the
dog attacked and killed her also. "

A thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men. Then the first one
asks in excitement "Can I borrow the dog? "

The man replied "Join the queue."

HOW TO START YOUR DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK

2006-07-25T17:33:00.000-05:00

1. Open a new file in your PC .

2. Name it " Boss "

3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN

4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN

5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to delete Boss
permanently?"

6. Answer calmly, "Yes," and press the mouse button firmly....

7. Feel better?

HAVE A NICE DAY

Goofy Signs

2006-07-25T17:32:00.000-05:00

[1] In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE
DRAINING BOARD

[2] In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR
FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

[3] In an office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER...... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

[4] In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT
GOES OUT

[5] In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

[6] Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR
WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

[7] Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

[8] Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

[9] Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE
1ST FLOOR

[10] Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE , BUT THE BULL
CHARGES.

[11] On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T
WORK)

Paintings in MS Paint

2006-07-24T17:22:00.000-05:00

Can u believe, these paintings are completely made in MS Paint.
All credit goes to my friend Sang

Hilarious Court Cases

2006-07-17T08:42:00.000-05:00

These are from a book called "Disorder in the Court." These are thingspeople actually said in court, word for word, taken down and nowpublished by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every Year______________________________________________________________
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.____________________________________________________________________ Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.____________________________________________________________________ Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?____________________________________________________________________
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken? ____________________________________________________________________
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?___________________________________________________________________ Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?____________________________________________________________________
Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up! also?____________________________________________________________________
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated? ___________________________________________________________________
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male or a female?____________________________________________________________________ Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.____________________________________________________________________
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.____________________________________________________________________ Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere

Funny Algebra!!

2006-07-12T22:37:00.000-05:00

Why Zidane behaved stupid? Lame? mystery behind Zidane

2006-07-10T17:37:00.000-05:00

Rare Top Views

2006-07-06T05:25:00.000-05:00

Egyptian Pyramid

Eiffel Tower

Etna volcanic Mountain

Liberty Statue

Manhattan View Point

Olympic Stadium in Canada

Rome City

Sydney

Beware of Animals !!!

2006-07-04T01:49:00.000-05:00

Coz V cant guess when they turn wild.

Click Here

Click Here

Click Here

Funny Pic

2006-06-30T21:05:00.000-05:00

credit card,ringtones,bollywood,songs,adsense,
newyork,aishwarya rai,amitabh,yuva,bill gates

Height of Communication GAP…

2006-06-30T21:03:00.000-05:00

Mr.Sharma comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: "I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for
sure, we can't tell anybody."
The next day, Mrs.Sharma receives a telephone call from AEC (Ahmedabad Electric Company) because the electricity bill has
not been paid. " Am I speaking to Mrs.Sharma ? " "Yes...... speaking"

AEC guy, "You're a month overdue, you know!"

"How do YOU know?" stammers the young
woman.

"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the AEC guy .

"What are you saying? It's in your files ...... HOW ?????"

"Yes ........... We have a
system of finding out who's overdue "

"GOD !!!!!!......... this is too
much.........."

"Madam, I am sorry...... I am following orders.... I have to inform you are overdue"

"I know that ........ let me talk to my husband about this tonight. ..... he will speak to your company tomorrow "

That night, she tells her husband about the visit, and he, mad as a bull,
rushes to AEC office the next day morning.

"What's going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.

"Just calm down," says the lady at the reception at AEC, "it's nothing serious. All
you have to do is pay us.."

"PAY you? and if I refuse?"

"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off."

"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.

"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle."

Creative Ads From Honda

2006-06-22T08:46:00.000-05:00

Know your Signature Style...

2006-06-22T08:42:00.000-05:00

>>SINGLE UNDERLINE BELOW THE SIGN!!
>> These persons are very confident and are good personalities. They are alittle bit selfish but believe in "Happiness of human life".

>> TWO DOTS BELOW THE SIGN !!
>> These persons are considered to be Romantic, can easily change theirlife partners as if they change their clothes. They prefer beauty inother persons & they themselves try to look beautiful, they easilyattract others.

>> SINGLE DOT BELOW THE SIGN !!
>> These persons are more inclined towards classical arts, simple & arevery cool. If you loose faith with them, then these persons will neverlook back at you. Hence its always better to be careful with thesepeople.

>> NO UNDERLINES OR DOTS BELOW THE SIGN !!
>> These persons enjoy their life in their own way, never pay attention toothers views. These are considered to be good natured but are Selfishtoo.

>> RANDOM SIGN, NO SIMILARITY BETWEEN NAME & SIGN !!
>> These persons try to be very smart, hide each & every matter, never sayanything in straight forward manner, never pay attention to the otherperson of what he is talking of.

>> RANDOM SIGN, SIMILARITY BETWEEN NAME & SIGN !!
>> These persons are considered to be intelligent but never think. Thesepeople change their ideas & views as fast as the wind changes itsdirection of flow. They never think whether that particular thing isright or wrong. You can win them just by flattering them.

>> SIGN IN PRINTED LETTERS !!
>> These persons are very kind to us, have a good heart, selfless, areready to sacrifice their life for the sake of their near & dear. Butthey seems to think a lot and may get angry very soon.

>> WRITING COMPLETE NAME AS THEIR SIGN !!
>> These persons are very kind hearted, can adjust themselves to anyenvironment & to the person they are talking. These persons are veryfirm on their views & posses a lot of will power.

Funny Cartoons

2006-06-15T08:37:00.000-05:00

Clik on the image to enlarge

Please, you first - (after me)

2006-06-14T10:53:00.000-05:00

This happens only in America...

Career Song - The 8 stages

2006-06-13T06:29:00.000-05:00

Career Song - The 8 stages

1. when in college : Hum honge kaamiyaab, Hum honge kaam iyaab ek din.....

2. when giving interview to Multi National Company: Tu hi re.. Too hi re ....tere binaaa main kaise jiyunn....

3. waiting for interview result: Intehaa ho gai Intzaarki.. aayinaaa kuch khabar mere yaarki ...

4. just joined: Too cheez badi hai mast mast.....

5. after some time: Ye kahaan aa gaye hum??

6. After some more time: Naa koyi umang hai, naa koyi tarang hai, meri jindagi ek kati Pathang hai (booohoooo)

7. floating the resume: kabootar ja ja ja... kabootar ja ja ja... pehele pyar ki peheli chitthi...

8. finally when you don't get a better offer any longer:

Jeena Yehaan, marna Yehaan iske siwa Jaana Kahaa..!!

Movies and their meaning to s/w professionals

2006-06-11T10:21:00.000-05:00

Sajan Chale Sasural : Computer professional coming to US.
1942 a Love story : Sticking to one company for more than a year.
Dil to Pagal Hai : Staying in India, dreaming of US.
Sapnay : Green card.
Sadma : Rejected H-1(B) Visa.
Khalnayak : Bodyshoppers.
Deewana Mastana : Project Manager - Team Leader.
Beta : Home Phone bill exceeding $400pm.
Rakhwala : Project Manager.
Mr. Bechara : Computer professional in Singapore.
Zanjeer : Company bond.
Himmatwala : Breaking company bond.
Tohfa : H-4 Visa for your Wife.
Mawaali : Before coming to US.
Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman : Once you are in US.
Chaudhvin ka Chand : Assembly programmer.
Sahib Bibi aur Ghulam : Client, your company and you.
Shehanshah : Bill Gates.
Admi Sadak Ka : Jumping from company to company.
Dayawan : Company paying full salary in bench.
Anari : Year2000 programmer.
Phool Aur Kaanten : Microsoft - IBM.
Aaj Ka Gunda Raaj : Microsoft Monopoly in IT market.
Maharaja : Doctors who came to US in 70's.
Hairaan : Non-Computer professionals on seeing computer professional's pay-check.
Hum Aapke Hain Koun : Illegal Immigrants in US.
Aur Pyar Ho Gaya : After staying in US for a Year.
Pardes : India after 2 Years.
Daud : Coming to US.
Rangeela : After getting Green Card.
Bahaar Aane Tak : Time period between Green Card and Citizenship.
Desh Premee : Going back to India for goodFarz : Going to India every year.
Pyaasa : Longing for a Visa.
Agneepath : Going to Madras Consulate for getting a Visa.
Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikandar : After coming from consulate with a Visa.
Bud Naseeb : Not getting a Visa.
Himalaya Putra : Firmly asking for $70k from India.
Elan-E-Jung : Asking for increment.
Gupt : Agreement of Programmer with number of consultants.
Zakmee : After getting rejected twice for a Visa.
Swarg Se Sundar : on landing in US.
Ab Kya Hoga? : Applied for Green Card too late.
Jallad : INS People.
Kranti : Increase H-1 quota.
Main Khiladi Tu Anari : You and Immigration Officer.

Picture Puzzles

2006-06-10T13:37:00.000-05:00

How many Faces?

How Many animals?

Todays Pic

2006-06-09T11:19:00.000-05:00

3D Mindset

2006-06-09T08:39:00.000-05:00

Improve your communication skills

2006-06-08T06:32:00.000-05:00

Here are 6 great tips you can use:

1. Awareness of your own interaction with other people is the first step in improving your communication skills.Learn to identify which types of situations make you uncomfortable and then modify your behavior to achieve positive results is a critical step in improving your communication skills. You can learn to become aware of behaviors in other people that prompt you to respond in negative ways and modify your own behavior to turn the situation into a positive experience.

2. You must accept responsibility for your own behavior and do not fear apologizing for errors in judgment or insensitive actions.Asking others for honest feedback about the way you interact with others can be very helpful. Accept the negative feedback along with the positive and make changes accordingly.

3. Your non-verbal communication is equally as important as the things that you say. Positive body language is extremely important in your interactions with other people.If your words and your actions do not match, you will have a difficult time succeeding in social situations.

4. In order to learn how to improve your communication skills, you must become a great listener. You must fight the urge to respond immediately and really listen to what the other person is trying to communicate. Offering suggestions or criticism before you are certain of the other person's intent can only lead to frustration for both parties.

5. Improving your communication skills is a process and cannot be accomplished overnight . Trying to improve or change too many things at once will be counter-productive.You will become discouraged and overwhelmed if you attempt to change your entire personality all at once. Choose one or two traits at a time and work on those over a period of time. Learn to take advantage of your personal strengths and make a positive impact on others.

6. Maximize your positive personality traits and use them in your interactions with others. Good communication and great listening skills are the most important tools you can use in improving your communication skills. You can learn how to improve your communication skills by developing excellent listening skills, learning to resolve problems and conflicts, understanding body language, and accepting responsibility for your own negative behavior. Determination and self-awareness will make your desire to improve your communication skills a reality.You can change your life and now is the time to start.

New Messengers...

2006-06-07T06:33:00.000-05:00

CLIK ON THE IMAGE TO ENLARGE

I Like ur thinking...

2006-06-07T06:28:00.000-05:00

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Billy.
He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."
Then little Billy says, "I have a question for you. "
"There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
To which Little Billy replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking."

Heavenly Bodies

2006-06-06T11:26:00.000-05:00

Unique Trees

2006-06-05T10:19:00.001-05:00

Unique Trees

2006-06-05T10:19:00.000-05:00

Whats UR Japanese Name

2006-06-03T13:54:00.000-05:00

A- ka * B- tu * C- mi * D- te * E- ku * F- lu * G- ji
H- ri * I- ki * J- zu * K- me * L- ta * M- rin *
N- to O-mo * P- no * Q- ke * R- shi * S- ari * T-chi U- do *
V- ru * W-mei * X- na * Y- fu * Z- zi

So, whats your japanese name? Take each letter of your name and substitute it with the japanese sound to the right of the letter. Names might be kinda long.

Soap Art

2006-06-02T18:08:00.000-05:00

Sand Art

2006-06-01T00:05:00.000-05:00

Which Baby R U?

2006-05-31T23:56:00.000-05:00

------------JANUARY BABY--------------------

Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored.
Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to
recover when hurt. Sensitive. Down-to-Earth.
Stubborn. Repost this in 5 mins and you will meet
someone new in 8 days that will perfectly balance
your personality.

----------FEBRUARY BABY --------------------
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract.
Intelligent and clever. Changing personality.
Attractive. sexiest out of everyone.
Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest
and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves
freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves
aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt.
Gets angry really easily but does not show it.
Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends
but rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn.
Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp.
Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the
inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous.
Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.
Repost this in 5 mins and you will talk to someone
new and realize that you are a perfect match.

-----------------MARCH BABY --------------------
Attractive personality. sexy. Affectionate Shy and
reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous
and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity.
Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered.
Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness.
Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up
feelings. Observant and assesses others.If you
repost this in the next 5 mins, you will meet your
new love in 8 days.

------------------APRIL BABY -------------------
Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous.
Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and
sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does
work well with others. Very confident. Sensitive.
Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good
memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look
for information. Able to cheer evryone up and/or
make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and
others. Understanding. Fun to be around.
Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive.
Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and
traveling. Systematic. hott but has brains. If you
repost this in 5 mins, a cutie that's caught your eye
will introduce themself and you will realize that
you are very much alike in the next 2 days.

-----------------MAY BABY -----------------
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and
highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered.
Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings.
Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint.
Needs no motivation. Shy towards oppisite sex.
Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to
dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding.
Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good
imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves
literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike
being at home. Restless. Not having many children.
Hardworking. High spirited. If you repost this in the
next 5 minutes, you will become close to someone
you do not speak to much in the next 4 days.

------------JUNE BABY -------------
You've got the best personality and are an
absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make
new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt
and more than likely have an a very attractive
partner. a wicked hottie. It is also more than likely
that you have a massive record collection. You
have a great choice in films, and may one day
become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck,
you've got the looks for it!!! IN the next 6 days you
will meet someone that may possibly become
oneof your closest friends, if you repost this in 5
minutes.

----------------JULY BABY --------------
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to
be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed.
Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily
consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's
feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable.
Emotional temperamental and unpredictable.
Moody
and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. spazzy at
times.
Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets.
dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things.
Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive
and forms impressions carefully. Caring and
loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of
sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people
through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties
in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods
about the past and the old friends. Waits for
friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive
unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt
but takes long to recover. Repost this in the next 5
mins and your reputation will boost someway in
the next 12 days

------------AUGUST BABY ---------------
outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on
attention. no self control. kind hearted. self
confident. loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful.
easy to get along with and talk to. has an "every
thing's peachy" attitude. likes talking and singing.
loves music. daydreamer. easily distracted. Hates
not being trusted. BIG imagination. loves to be
loved. hates studying. in need of "that someone".
longs for freedom. rebellious when withheld or
restricted. lives by "no pain no gain" caring.
always a suspect. playful. mysterious. "charming"
or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn. curious.
independent. strong willed. a fighter. repost in 5
mins and you will meet the love of your life
sometime next month.

------------SEPTEMBER BABY ---------------
Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends
to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself.
Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic.
Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems.
Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and
caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have
many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional.
Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates
oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore.
Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can
understand. if you do not repost this in the next 5
mins, someone very close to you will become mad
at you in the next 8 days.

---------------OCTOBER BABY -------------------
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves
to takes things at the center. Inner and physical
beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry
often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and
fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but
recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does
not care to control emotions. Unpredictable.
Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND
sexiest of them all. repost this in 5 mins or you will
not meet the love of your life for 10 years.

---------------NOVEMBER BABY --------------------
Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and
dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun.
Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards
your inner and outer beauty and independent
personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional
and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people
easily and very social in a group. Fearless and
independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a
crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the
greatest men are born in this month. If you ever
begin a relationship with someone from this month,
hold on to them because their one of a kind. repost
in 5 mins & you will excell in a major event coming
up sometime this month.

---------------DECEMBER BABY ---------------
This straight-up means ur the most good-looking
person possible... better than all of these other
months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive
in everything. Active in games and interactions.
Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in
organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to,
though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision,
yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by
kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of
ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to
delay. Choosy and always wants the best.
Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to
joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone
always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer.
Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding.
Able to show character. one guy/girl kind of
person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting
colds. loves music. pretty/handsome. Loves to
dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows
emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt.
Sensitive.

Nail the fence

2006-05-30T10:33:00.000-05:00

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there. " A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one

Login and Logout times of Software Companies

2006-05-30T06:48:00.000-05:00

How did U enjoy the long weekend...

2006-05-29T19:43:00.000-05:00

hi all,
jus drop in ur words, how u enjoyed your weekend in the comments...

20 golden rules for any office

2006-05-27T00:25:00.000-05:00

1. Rule 1. - The Boss is always right.

2. Rule 2. - If the Boss is wrong, see rule 1.

3. Those who work get more work. Others get pay, perks, and promotions.

4. Ph.D. stands for "Pull Him Down". The more intelligent a person, the more hardworking a person, the more committed a person; the more number of persons are engaged in pulling that person down.

5. If you are good, you will get all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

6. When the Bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

7. It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you are going to do.

8. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

9. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

10. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

11. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

12. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

13. Following the rules will not get the job done.

14. If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

15. Everything can be filed under "Miscellaneous".

16. No matter how much you do, you never do enough.

17. You can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work you are supposed to be doing.

18. In order to get a promotion, you need not necessarily know your job.

19. In order to get a promotion, you only need to pretend that you know your job.

20. The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong

Sardar Joke

2006-05-26T19:44:00.000-05:00

Pay Attention...

2006-05-26T10:45:00.000-05:00

First-year students in an American Medical School were receiving a lecture from an Indian Professor

This was their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor :

The first is that you are not disgusted by anything involving the human body." For an example, the professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth."Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them calmly and told them, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention....."

STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS

2006-05-24T16:06:00.000-05:00

BOY : May I hold your hand?

GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love m e! Say you love me!

BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??

BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.

BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.

BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!

GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!

GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

SHARON : Have you ever h ad a hot passionate, burning kiss??

TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.

MAN : You remind me of the sea.

WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?

MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the

other.

HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out

of the m outh.

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,

Peter?

PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"

Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".

2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"

Pupil : "The moon".

Teacher : "Why?"

Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun

gives us ligh t only in the day time when we don't need it".

3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people

are no longer interested?"

Pupil : "A teacher".

4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"

Customer : "What other colors do you have?"

5) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called

current affairs.

6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"

Sam : "It's a family tradition".

Teacher : "What do you mean?"

Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".

Teacher : "What about your mother?"

Sam : "Sh e's a woman".

7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"

David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance

repe ated".

8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped

him, what virtue would I be showing?"

Student : "Brotherly love".

9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"

Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".

10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"

Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten

people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated.

The others all died".

11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"

One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and

at the same time."

12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's

Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.

Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"

One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."

World Survey

2006-04-12T23:06:00.000-05:00

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a huge failure,
In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant
In India they didn't know what 'honest' meant
In Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant
In China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant.
In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant
In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant
And in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant.

Animusic

2006-04-07T10:20:00.000-05:00

The Fight

2006-04-02T21:01:00.000-05:00

Matching Faces

2006-04-02T20:31:00.000-05:00

Making a difference

2006-04-02T13:46:00.000-05:00

A man was walking down the beach at sunset.
As, he walked along, he saw another man in the distance. He noticed this man kept leaning down, picking up something and throwing it out into the water, again and again.

As, he approached even closer, he noticed that the man was picking up starfish that had been washed up on the beach. He was throwing them back into the water, one by one.Puzzled, he approached the man and said,"Good Evening. I was wondering what you are doing.""I'm
throwing these starfish back into the ocean.

You see, it's low tide and all these starfish have been washed up onto the shore. If, I don't throw them back into the ocean, they'll die up here from lack of oxygen."

"But, there must be thousands of starfish on this beach. You can't possible get to all of them. And, don't you realize this is probably happening on hundreds of beaches all up and down this coast. Can't you see that you can't possibly make a difference?"

The man bent down and picked up yet another starfish, and threw it back into the ocean. With a smile he replied, "Made a difference to that one !!!"Just remember, no matter how small the deedit really does makes a difference.Make a difference today.

Happy Ugadi

2006-03-29T23:41:00.000-06:00

The World : Man-made Islands

2006-03-28T14:56:00.000-06:00

Pic courtesy : getty images

Ever wish the world was smaller? This group of more than 250 man-made islands was designed to resemble the entire world when seen from the air. The islands, which range from 250,000 to 900,000 square feet, can be bought by individual developers or private owners -- starting at $6.85 million.

The only way to get between each island is by boat...or yacht, given the clientele. A notable engineering feat: The project incorporates two protective breakwaters to protect the islands from waves, consisting of one submerged reef (the outer breakwater) and an above-water structure (the inner breakwater).

From : Businessweek Online.

Tom or Jerry

2006-03-27T20:16:00.000-06:00

Cool game...

Wat do u see

2006-03-27T20:07:00.000-06:00

Pic of the day

2006-03-27T20:05:00.000-06:00

Can u guess wat he might be doin...

Very Addictive Game

2006-03-25T19:17:00.000-06:00

Click and hold the red square.
Now , move it such that you will neither touch the wall nor hit by the blue blocks.
See how many seconds you can survive...

Transparent Butterfly

2006-03-24T23:26:00.000-06:00

Greta oto is one of a number of similar transparent winged butterflies. It comes from central America, and is found from Mexico to Panama. It is quite common in its zone, but it not easy to find because of its transparent wings, which is a natural camouflage mechanism.

Family: Nymphalidae
Genus: Ithomiinae
Latin name: Greta oto
Common name: The Glasswing

Wood Art

2006-03-24T23:24:00.000-06:00

Forks Can u believe this...

2006-03-21T16:57:00.000-06:00

Thought of the day

2006-03-15T23:26:00.000-06:00

Apperance & Reality

2006-03-15T22:23:00.000-06:00

To appear wise, one must talk;To be wise, one must listen.

To appear to do good, one must be busy;To do good, one must know when to stand aside.

To appear to lead, one must put oneself first;To lead, one must put oneself last.

To appear caring, one must give advice;To be caring, one must give space.

To appear to love, one must know how to give;To love, one must know also how to receive.

To appear happy, one must smile;To be happy, one must be free with tears.

Today's Art

2006-03-15T22:18:00.000-06:00

HAPPY HOLI

2006-03-14T10:55:00.000-06:00

Holi or Phagwah (Bhojpuri) is an annual Hindu spring festival. It takes place over two days around late March or early April. As per the Hindu calendar, it falls on the last day on the month of Phalgun (फाल्गुन), which is a Purnima (or Pooranmashi) Full Moon on a Purnima (or Pooranmashi) Full Moon, and on the first day of Chaitra (चैत्र). It is a celebration also of the Hindu New Year, as Chaitra is the first month of the Hindu Year. It is also called the festival of color. On the first day, a bonfire is lit at night to signify burning Holika. On the second day, known as Dhulandi, people go around until afternoon throwing colors at each other. A special drink called 'thandai' or bhang (Cannabis sativa) is also consumed sometimes, which actually contains small amounts of marijuana. People invite each other to their houses for feasts and celebrations later in evenings. Rangapanchami occurs a few days later on a Panchami (fifth day of the full moon), marking the end of festivities involving colors.

Amazing Foto

2006-03-13T22:14:00.000-06:00

This is the sunset at the North Pole with the moon at its closest point. And you also see the sun below the moon.

Funny Pic

2006-03-13T22:05:00.000-06:00

Divorce Blackmail

2006-03-13T22:01:00.000-06:00

After 48 years of marriage, an elderly Sindhi man in Bombay calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day son, but Ihave to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 45 years of misery is enough!"

"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says.

"We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!"

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care ofthis." She calls Bombay immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are not getting divorced.

Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow.

Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR??" and she hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay", hesays, "It's all set. They're both coming for Diwali and paying their own airfare!!"

From one of my Fren's

2006-03-13T21:55:00.000-06:00

One of my dear friends said to me one night when I was thinking of the life and the different troubles people face and was getting depressed ….

She said that everyone is a PENCIL…..!
Yes, I am not joking, she said we are all pencils.

Well Shakespeare said we are all puppets, that I can understand, but we are pencils….
Well I laughed!What were you expecting me to do?

But then she shut me up by saying that all the sharpening that is done on the pencil is to get the led sharpened which is the sole purpose of the pencils life. To be so sharp that it can be used to write legible & beautiful writing.So, according to her the troubles make humans so sharp that they can be perfect in what ever they are supposed to do!

I was absolutely stunned by her simple example. I felt this inner peace that I have some purpose in life that I am working hard towards it & the troubles in my life or any one else’s is to make him / her, a stronger & better human in their respective life.

From Sumi

USDESI on hiatus...

2006-03-10T09:19:00.000-06:00

we will be back soon...

Microsoft launches Windows Live...

2006-03-08T19:29:00.000-06:00

Microsoft Windows search engine and many more go check out clik on the pic for more info.

Today's message forward

2006-03-08T11:04:00.000-06:00

One day LOVE asked FRIENDSHIP,
"why are you in the world when i am here?" Friendship smiled & said "
TO SPREAD SMILES WHERE YOU LEAVE TEARS...!

Questions that screw ur mind...

2006-03-06T20:30:00.000-06:00

First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?

Third Question:
Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper! and pencil or a calculator. Try it.

Fourth Question:
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?

Okay, now the bonus round.!
There is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?

Answers in comments

Don't look back

2006-03-06T20:23:00.000-06:00